I am a unique person who hides in a mundane atmosphere. I am a fairly young mother of three children and I am married to a sailor. On the outside it looks very average; three young children, military dad, and an exhausted stay-at-home-mom. We even have a cat and dog. The house is messy almost all the time, but the essentials are taken care of. Dishes are (usually) done in a timely manner, laundry gets washed and put away regularly, and we eat three square(ish) meals a day.
I have a very eccentric side to me that I don’t always get to show. I am torn between my eccentric side and my sense of what a mother and wife should look and behave like. This often depresses me and that’s when my behavior can become erratic. What irritates me today won’t bother me tomorrow and vise versa. I like to build a fort with my kids and hide out in there with them. I like to play pretend with them and make believe we’re on another planet or in a lost world. They have a great imagination and I do my best to make sure that doesn’t change.
I think I may have some kind of short term memory loss as well. I don’t know this for sure, I never remember to ask a doctor about it when I go in for checkups. My husband will recite to me an entire conversation we had and I won’t remember any of it. I’ll start to say something and I’ll forget as it’s coming out of my mouth. I have a very difficult time thinking in a straight line and I often go all over the place in a conversation. This amuses most people and they find it charmingly quirky, but it frustrates me because most of those people don’t take me seriously when I have something serious to say.
I’m a very social person and I crave the company of other people, but I’m also terrified of being hurt (again) by someone whom I thought was my friend. I’m also terrified for my children. I have a dark past and I will do whatever it takes to try and keep anything that happened to me from happening to any of my kids. I’m slightly paranoid and overly hyper vigilant. I have moderate insomnia and my brain just never shuts off.
I do have a good sense of humor and I enjoy sharing some of my more humorous mishaps. See, I hate spiders. Can’t stand the creepy little bastards. If I could choose a super power, I would choose the ability to communicate with insects and arachnids just so I could tell them to stay the hell away from me. My run-ins with the creepy crawlies usually brings others to tears with laughter and I enjoy making others smile and laugh so I take great pleasure in sharing these stories. At the time of the experience, I find nothing funny about what’s happening to me, but after the situation is resolved, I am typically able to look back and see how ridiculous I was behaving. I mean, I’m, what, a thousand times bigger than most spiders I come in contact with? There’s no logical reason for me to fear them, and yet I do.
I am a very passionate person as well, not so much in the romantic way, I just tend to feel things very strongly. This gets me into trouble (usually just with myself) because I’ll cry or get angry over something that has nothing to do with me or anyone I know. I’ll read a random story a friend shares on Facebook and I will dwell on the injustice or sadness for days. I really need to work on that haha.
Well, that roughly sums me up. Don’t get used to seeing just one or two styles from me, I’m not focussed enough for that lol. Please feel free to say hi. I will not be a frequent flyer here (yet), but I will come in any time I am able.