After a very long shift at work (12 hours as a night shift cashier at a lonely truck stop) I was ready to go home. I finally got to my car and soon I was off.
I had my window down, smoking my cigarette (yes I know, smoking bad, but thank God I was doing it), and jamming out to my radio when something caught my eye: dropping down from the roof, right over my left forearm, was a writhing, menacing, eight-legged devil and it was getting closer and closer to my arm! I screamed and swerved and tried to focus the majority of my attention on my metal coffin going 80 miles per hour on the highway while also keeping an eye on my intruder.
It began swaying menacingly and for a moment I thought it would land on my chest. That thought nearly had me in tears and seeing my open window I had a brilliant idea: I began blowing on the spider to try and get it to swing right out the window! Don’t ever do that. Ever. I almost kissed the frog prince wannabe.
Since that didn’t work I had another brilliant idea: I tried to burn it with my cigarette. Well, it made him go up his little lifeline, but it made him rather frantic and he was swaying even worse. At this point I had three cars pass me, staring at me oblivious to my peril, looking at me as if I were a drunk driver. At this point I realized I was now going 65 miles per hour and probably swerving pretty badly so I was getting ready to safely pull over to the shoulder of the highway when a devine wind reached into my car and swept the little harbinger of evil out my window!
Filled with relief I resumed normal hellbat speed and shakily finished my cigarette and tried to forget the violation to my personal space. Do you think I could press charges for the psychological damage his entire species causes me?