I’ve never had someone disrespect me as badly as my grandmother-in-law did today. She and I have never seen eye-to-eye on many issues, but she has been at my throat for things I am doing my best to do/control.
She knows I went to the hospital for nine days because of suicidal thoughts. She also knows I’m a recovering cutter and that I haven’t done it in eight years, but she doesn’t believe I have any mental illness, she believes I am seeking attention.
In the midst of yet another argument she mocked me. She threw her hands up in the air and in a horrid, mocking voice said, “Oh, I’m overwhelmed by my kids, I’m gonna go kill myself.”
My heart dropped through the floor. Rage filled up every dark void in my body, but I didn’t lash out. I did tell her I couldn’t believe she just did that and I ended up telling her she was acting like an angry toddler. But for a grown woman to throw that in my face in such a spiteful manner….. I’m floored.
Some other people have told me to just hold my tongue and get through the day, but how am I supposed to let that slide down my back? How am I supposed to take verbal abuse and just move on? I am working so hard on myself and it feels as though she’s determined to undo all that I’ve accomplished.
She has old school views and feels I’m not supposed to do anything to better myself, I’m just supposed to take care of the kids and the house. I don’t get “me time” or anything like that. My husband does though. He’s entitle to all that, but I’m not and I need to grow up and stop making him baby me.
Her views as to what our marriage and household is actually like is so screwed up. There’s no talking to her or reasoning with her. It’s awful here and I’m almost always wishing I’d never left Connecticut.