I can’t even begin to describe exactly how these last couple of months have been for me or how much pain I have caused for those around me and those whom I love dearly.
It’s been a crazy roller coaster ride, to say the least. A lot of fighting, talking, crying, laughing, and reminiscing.
My husband no longer hates me, but he is still very mad at me. We are working through it every day. We are doing our best not to play the blame game and to actually resolve our issues rather than sweep them under the rug. It is not easy. It is exhausting, but at the same time my husband and I have been having more meaningful conversations in these last few days than we have in our entire marriage. It feels good to open up and to have him open up so much.
We’re discovering new parts of ourselves. It’s almost like we’re dating for the first time all over again. It’s really nice. Once we get to Illinois we’ll actually be able to go out, away from the kids, and do something we can enjoy.
Life lately has been filled with such consuming darkness with moments of blinding light. Things are finally starting to feel like they’re balancing out. I’m not as afraid to move forward. I’m skittish, but taking baby steps.