A Friend in Desperate Need: Attempted Suicide

Last night was one of the scariest nights of my life. A friend I made while I was in the hospital called me earlier yesterday absolutely hysterical. She had been abandoned by someone she trusted. Literally abandoned, on the side of the road, in the middle of nowhere, in the freezing rain. Her purse was in his car and she was roughly an hour away from her home. 

I tried to calm her down and coached her to breathe. All she could think to ask was why. Why did he do this? Why do I keep letting him in? Why? I had no answers. How could I? 

He eventually came and picked her up then took her home. She got into her car and drove. She was voice messaging me as she drove and I begged and begged for her to drive to me. I was home without a car and with all my kids so I was utterly helpless to go rescue her. 

She said she just wanted to drive. 

She went to a secret and special place they shared and she walked for 90 minutes into the woods. She wanted to let the cold take over. She wanted to succumb to it so she could be numb. 

Hours went by and I heard nothing from her. Panicked I messaged and called her. I called our mutual friends. They called and messaged her. Finally I get a response from her telling me she was home. I asked again for her to come to me, but she refused. 

Then, after I had fallen asleep due to exhaustion, she messaged me. All it said was “I’m in trouble.” She called me four times and on the fifth try I finally awoke and answered. She told me she overdosed on acetaminophen and was coming to my house. At that point she was about 15-20 minutes away. 

She told me not to call the cops and instead to call her boyfriend, the person who abandoned her earlier that day, and to tell him what she had done. I did as she asked and I was not nice about it. I called my mother asking for her help and advice. What should I do to help her at home? She and her husband told me to call the police regardless of her request for no police and also to try and induce vomiting as soon as I can. 

For anyone who has not been in this situation you may be sitting there saying, “well duh, call the damn cops!” That’s what I would have said prior to this experience, but it’s a remarkable struggle when you want to respect your friend’s wishes, but you also don’t want them to die. She has overdosed on acetaminophen before and has suffered organ damage because of it. I also know she lives an hour away from me so those pills have already been dissolving if they weren’t completely dissolved already. 

I called 911 and begged them to tell me what I could do for her at home. I pleaded with them telling them she did not want to have the cops come, but they told me it was her best if not only shot at surviving. The operator kept asking me for my address and before I said it I saw my friend’s car and lost all my resolve. All I could say was, “I’m sorry” and I hung up. 

I rushed to my friend who was clearly messed up and she stumbled as she got out of the car. I brought her into my home and my phone rang. It was a number I didn’t recognize, but I assumed it was the operator I had called. I ignored it. I helped my friend to my room (my husband and I are having issues so he was asleep on the couch and all my kids were asleep in their beds) and I tried to get her into the bathroom, but she refused. She said she would throw up on her own and that she would be ok. 

My phone rang again and it was the same number as before. I ignored it. I begged my friend to get onto the bathroom and throw up and she refused again. She kept asking me why her boyfriend would do this to her. I then learned she was on the phone with him as she was taking the pills and he did nothing. She then said she just wanted to lay down and rest. Nervously I let her which gave me a chance to listen to the voicemail the unknown number left. 

The operator told me I needed to call back and give my address otherwise she would go through my cellphone provider and get my info anyways. In tears I called her back and gave my address. She told me to monitor my friend and try to induce vomiting. Nervously I watched my friend as I waited for the police. I became irritated because it took them 20 fucking minutes to get to my house. 

Before they arrived I woke my husband up and told him the situation. He got himself dressed and prepared for their arrival. I kept returning to my friend, rubbing her back or leg and watched her breathe. I watched and tried to see if she was struggling or breathing normally. She seemed ok, peaceful in fact. That terrified me further. 

Finally the cops arrived. I took the first one to my friend and briefly explained to him the situation and the second one took my info and my statement. They called for an ambulance and I returned to my friend and the first cop. I sat beside her and listened to her downplay her situation. I could see through her bullshit because I do the same downplaying bullshit. However, I’m too timid to call her out on it. I’m working on that. 

The officer brought her into the living room where we waited for the paramedics. As she walked past me she looked at me with hurt in her eyes. Hurt from my betrayal. I told her I loved her which is why I called the cops. She was only in the living room a few minutes when she said she needed to vomit. I showed her the bathroom and rubbed her back as she purged. I looked in the toilet for any signs of pills, but all I saw was liquid. She suffered 3-4 rounds of purging before she felt she was done. The paramedics came and took her vitals and aside from slightly elevated blood pressure, she was looking good, her pupils were reactive, and she was responsive. She was smiling and even giggled and joked. 

I leaned next to her and said, “I understand if you hate me, but I loved you and I was so scared. I didn’t want to lose you.” She didn’t look at me or even respond. 

They took her away in the ambulance and she left me with the keys to her car so I could move it into our garage. She is currently in the ICU at the hospital. She has since messaged me and I can sense resentment in her messages, but at least I know she is safe. 

What she doesn’t yet know is I have had contact with her boyfriend and I told him to stay away from her which he has agreed to do. He agrees that’s it’s best for him to stay out of her life because he can’t give her what she wants and needs. I went to visit her in the hospital today, but they wouldn’t let me and this is not a conversation I want to have via text. She has made him her entire world and when she finds out I ran him off she will probably be pissed at me. I’m ok with this. I would rather she hate me and be alive to do so rather than to have had her die knowing I kept her trust. 

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