Three hours ago I wanted nothing more than to bury my face into an industrial sized tub of Nutella. I stood in front of my pantry staring at the Halloween candy that’s meant to be passed out to trick or treaters. Believe it or not, I ate a salad instead. Topped it off with sautéed mushrooms and croutons.
Anyway, I sat here with my salad, watching Criminal Minds (best show ever [Penelope is my goddess]), then I heard both my boys start to cry. First my two year old, then the baby. I picked up my two year old and I walked around the dark house with him. I rocked him and snuggled him and he giggled when my cold nose touched his warm one. I watched as his eyes fluttered sleepily, then I put him back in his crib and picked up his jealous baby brother.
I picked up my baby boy and I walked him around the house just like I had done with his older brother. He nuzzled his face into the curve where my neck and shoulder meet and his little hand was patting my back. Tears started welling up as I thought back to my behavior earlier. I hugged him tighter and he nestled in closer. Finally, after I felt his body get heavier as sleep overcame him, I put him back in his crib, walked over to my other son and smoothed his hair. He was still awake, but he was comfortable and close to sleep.
I peeked in on my daughter and she was sprawled out completely taking up the entire space of her bed. How that was even possible I don’t know seeing as she’s a petite girl in a twin sized bed lol. I kissed her on the forehead and left.
Normally when we have a rough day, at the end of it I’ll tell her “Today was a rough day, huh? I’m sorry we had such a hard time today, let’s try again tomorrow.” I didn’t say that to her tonight, but in the morning as we have our breakfast I will tell her.
I have yet to go to sleep and it’s already after 1am, but I feel peaceful. I feel hopeful that I will be a little more rested and have a little more patience.
It’s a new day, a fresh start, an opportunity to try again. I’m hopeful I’ll get it right this time.