SPIDER!!! (Updated)

Oh goodness, where to begin….? This morning my husband left for a Yu-Gi-Oh! tournament. I hate the stupid game, but I do my very best to support him and since he hasn’t been to a tournament in a long time I did not object to his going to one today. I’m quite used to parenting our three young children on my own (thank you military) so it’s whatever.

Anyway, the day has gone as smoothly as it possibly can with three youngsters and it is now “Quiet Time”. That precious time of day when they take their naps (well except for my four year old, she plays in her room) and I have some time to myself to do as I please. Well kinda. I help my husband organize his office for about an hour or so.

While I’m in there, I can hear my four year old daughter run into the bathroom, do the potty dance, and finally potty. After I was done with my giggle fit I hear her let out a sharp squeal. At first I thought she was playing with her brothers who were napping, but then I hear a more terrified shriek so I got up to check on her. When I looked into the bathroom I see her standing in front of the toilet, frozen in fear, staring at the wall beside the sink. Slowly I turned and saw a huge, nasty spider lazily crawling where the tile and the wall meet. I quickly grabbed my daughter by the arm and got her out of there and instructed her to wash her hands in my bathroom. I also grabbed the hairspray from my bathroom.

I have never seen one of these spiders before and this thing is just nasty. I am absolutely NO good at killing spiders this size. Tiny ones, sure, maybe, but anything this size is just a NOPE. I then took a quick snapshot of it to send to my husband along with a text:SPIDER!!!!

Because, you know, that’s totally what you do in this situation, right? Well, lucky for me his tournament was over so he was able to respond the exact way I wanted him to lol. Unfortunately for me he was 20 minutes away at best. So after I sent the picture, I gathered as much courage as I could and gingerly walked back into the bathroom and of course the damn thing had moved behind the door, directly over our heater, so I had to actually get all the way in the bathroom and partially close the door so I could gain better access to it.

I am now panicking because I have severely narrowed my means of escape. I point my bottle of hair spray at it and squirt and it stumbles then falls to floor. I then scream bloody murder as I run from the bathroom and topple over my daughter. She had been watching Mommy in action and needed the affirmation that I killed the beast. Instead, she got a face full of Mommy running her down in an attempt to run away. I pick us both up and carry her to the safety of our living room.

“Did you kill it?” her voice shaking with hopeful anticipation.

“I don’t know, honey. I hope so.” My head is spinning and then my daughter asks, “Can you check?”

Well crap. Now I’ve got to go back in there and hopefully find a corpse. What I found, though, was much worse, rather it’s what I didn’t find: The freaking spider was nowhere. I looked as best as I could without actually going into the bathroom and shutting the door to search for it, but I could not see it.

I’ve periodically gone back, but have not seen it and now my husband is home. I’m expecting him to be my knight in shining armor, but he laid down on the couch (ya know, cuz he had such a hard day :/ ) and has yet to go in and look, so I am now sitting her in a state of panic and paranoia, fearing this thing is going to come after me with a vengeance because I sprayed it with sticky, stinky hairspray and now it’s pissed. AHH!

I will update this when we find the spider (I hope to God that it will be soon).

UPDATE: So yesterday I think I got it. I grabbed some clothes that were in MY bathroom (remember, the spider was in the kids’ bathroom before which is a good distance away from mine) and I was walking down my unlit hallway when I saw the silhouette of a spider crawling towards my hand. I let out a blood curdling scream, dropped the clothing, and stood there frozen in fear. Then I see this black spot crawling quickly towards it’s escape and after about three seconds I snapped out of my trance and squashed the intruder.

I’m fairly certain pretty sureI am very hopeful…. I pray to God that was the spider from the other day. It was hard to identify properly because it was just a squished pile of yuck, but I’m just gonna go ahead and say I got it lol.

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6 thoughts on “SPIDER!!! (Updated)

  1. OMG!!!! im llauughing so hard im wheezing hahhahahaha its gonna get you in your sleep!!!!!! its so mad now!! if you smell hairspray in the middle of the night you better run!!!! that thing was huge!!!

    Liked by 2 people

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